There are a few things I understood recently about the universe and myself. But in order not to confuse you too much, I have to start somewhere else..
Part One – Stories of My life
I sent my last post to a friend and he told me with other words, that I seem like an over-optimizer, who is getting lost in too much input.
Well, that blew my mind. I couldn’t believe that he doesn’t see that I’m “on the right track”. I was so sure that my approach is the right one. I thought I just have to tick off the list of self-improving advice and than I can handle my everyday life much more effectively and satisfying.
Unknowingly in the same chat this friend pointed out something really important to me: “Everything will turn out fine by itself. Just stop worrying about it” (Sideinfo: He is more the rational type of guy. He is probably not even the adressee of this blog.)
Don’t get me wrong – I still believe that positive affirmations are a good thing and that fear-setting is a good idea and I’m sure I will dig in deeper in these topics. But I won’t force it.
The funny thing is, that I always know what to do, but I don’t understand what NOT to do. Because there is exactly NOTHING I HAVE to do in order to become a better human being (whatever that means).
Well, there is another incident I want to showcase in this article:
The last weeks I met a lot of people I could connect with. I have to tell you one story of my daily life:
I had a video shooting at a trade fair near Munich and it was a few tough days of work. After finishing this job I was exhausted and a bit depressed, because these kinds of jobs sometimes eat too much of my energy.
Well, I was not in the best place on that day. But for some reason I decided to go to one of the second hand shops in Munich and buy a Dirndl, a traditional bavarian dress. (In this context it is important to know, that I always rejected Dirndls, because I just couldn’t relate to them.) Well, all of a sudden I felt the desire to honour Munich in this way or something like that.
Anyway, the main information is, that I was very very happy after buying this Dirndl, haha. Than I walked down Bayerstraße, a very busy street in Munich these days during Oktoberfest. It didn’t bother me, because there is this vietnamese Restaurant I wanted to try in a while. (Since a few weeks I consider Curry as my “soulfood”;)
I stepped in – still stoked about the purchase of my beautiful dress. Right at the doorstep I bumped into two guys I knew. They greated me with “I know you”. Surprise, surprise, I thought to myself. “Did we meet here?”, Iskender was talking about the restaurant. From the first sight I knew exactly where I met them: “No, we practiced AcrobaticYoga together”, I answered.
My next impulse lead me to a separate table – clutter voice in my head said “What ever… just some of these people…” But another voice from deep inside of me said louder: “You can really relate to these guys” In this moment Iskender waved me over to sit on the table and eat with them.
I ordered this delicious Massamancurry and I shared stories with Oscar and Iskender. Immediately I could tell them about my odd ideas about life and starting businesses like printing individualised toilet paper, haha.
“I like your way of thinking”, Oscar, the other guy paused dining – for a fractional part of a second it seemed like the world had stopped. And all of a sudden this deep sense of understanding filled the air.
Afterwards I was presenting Iskender my whole emotional life for two hours and he opened himself up as well. That night I drove home – knowing, that I had just made new friends. I was exchanging life perspectives with these guys I bumped into RANDOMLY.
Similar situations like this happened over and over again the last weeks… It was just crazy.
Why am I telling you about all this? As I told you at the beginning – I learned something VERY meaningful the last weeks from these situations, which happened unintentionally to me:
I don’t have to plan anything. I dont have to decide. I don’t have to force myself.
All I have to do is to “let go”. And in this way I finally agree with my friend, who I reminded on this hyper-optimization geek type of person.
Just by being “open” just by letting go and following my excitement (eating curry) a miserable day turned into one very fateful…
Part Two – The Coherence Between The Universe and “Letting Go”
“Believe in the universe”
This sentence is on my mind since a very long time. I talked to another friend on the phone the other day and he said. “Forget about the universe. You just have to believe in yourself.”
Well, I figured that it is important to consider every advice as potentially life-changing. But also I have to process advice to deeply comprehend it before I can relate to it.
So, tonight I figured out, that believing in the universe and believing in myself is exactly the same thing, which eventually leads to these incidents I told you about above.
Because “believing in the universe” just means, that it is already there. The universe is there, every desire is already fullfilled, if we believe in it. What is my desire? My desire is to make deep connections with people. My desire is to find friends and not to be alone anymore.
And what is believe? Believing means to accept everything that appears. Believe is to open up for every opportunity that appears. The opportunities are always there. We just have to see them/be aware of them.
And how can I open up? By “letting go”….
Letting go means – putting no pressure on my body and my mind – a very very long time I thought I have to force myself to do things. I have to force myself to excersice, I have to force myself to learn new skills, I have to force myself to get out of my comfort zone, I have to force myself to work in new jobs, to get to know people and so on and so on. I even thought I have to force myself to find purpose in my life.
I’m so happy, that I can finally (kind of) frame my thoughts and that I finally understood, that I DO NOT have to force myself…. It’s just one of these days, when I have this (illusion of) clarity.
What Else did I Learn?
1. Questioning is My Tool
Every sentence, that questions my thoughts and my way of thinking is helpful for me. Questioning things acutally is my tool. It is my tool to develop a new way of thinking. I can’t believe I didn’t realise it all the last years.
2. I’m My Own Teacher
“If the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
This is also a quote haunting in my brain for a very long time. It turned out, that it manifested in my subconsciousness more than I expected. I always asked myself, who this teacher is? Again I thought I HAVE TO find the teacher. FINALLY I understood, that I am the teacher. No – I have to put it differently – the teacher is within me. I just have to let him/her/it guide me by – again – “letting go”.
3. The Difference Between Forcing Yourself and Taking Action
Taking action is – making the first step and than “let go”.
The last weeks I learned, that there is a difference between forcing myself and taking action. Of course I need some discipline, but if I follow my excitement everything will just happen. Like right now – I just let go. I follow my thoughts and they are like a flow of solutions. They are already there. They are in my body and in my mind. I don’t have to force myself. I just LET GO.
4. Everything Happens for a Reason….
Upcoming Articles should might be about:
- my tools
- the teacher
- how to let go
- awareness
I love life.