Sensory input is beyond perception. I’m not observing, I (sur)render.
Out of body, out of mind I’m hovering.
Above the ground or elsewhere my energy field absorbs.
All matter blows up like a balloon.
A new force draws magnetically.
I’m submerging through the grid of masks.
My consciousness expands impulsively.
The boost disassociates me from the rest of the world.
My internal materializes within another dimension.
Involuntarily I convert into a canvas of reality.
I am lived.
I become life and everything that is and ever will be.
Is this embodiment of the light or incorporation of the shadow?
You can’t challenge reality.
No matter how hard you try. You can’t control the world.
All you can do is to accept what is. Accept whatever situation arises.
Welcome every moment with open arms.
Become one with every sensation. Become one with joy and delight. Become one with loss and aloneness. Become one with your fears and your desires.
This is how they dissolve.
This is how you reconnect – with yourself and with the planet.
You can’t change the circumstances. You can’t change other people’s minds.
You can only adapt and ease in.
Release all tension. Relax all tightness.
This is how you will find relief.
This is how you free yourself.
The heart sighs.
A home within.
Sole freedom inside.
We are throwing ourselves out there.
We are growing deep roots while reaching out for eternal connection.
We challenge the current state by challenging our own convenience.
With reverence not with resistance we are breaking down our own walls.
We rip ourselves apart to give you a clear sight to the core of human nature. Mind-stretching and heart-opening we elevate the planet’s vibration.
Questions are our weapons, discomfort our means of transport and unconditional love our fuel. Our vulnerability is what makes us invincible.
We are the lonesome warriors fighting for existence.
With every barrier we break the battlefield extends. What we conquer is our consciousness – layer after layer.
There is no way back – only forward.
Let’s team up and be the change.
My dreams are shattered by your rationalism.
But at least I can see clearly now.
Your arguments damp my fire like water cannons.
But thankfully you hold me back from burning out.
Your honesty cripples my self-worth.
But finally my masks are falling.
You cracked my heart like a walnut.
But ‘There is a crack in everything and this is how the light gets in,’ right?
Now I’m shining like a 300 watt light bulb.
Can you see it?
The map is laid open.
The land is free.
There is only love and security.
I’m a part of the net, a part of the whole.
There is no way to take control.
There is only life – no questions no doubts.
So I lift my head up – up into the clouds.
I’m desiring the non-desirable.
I’m wanting the non-wantable.
By desiring desirelessness I’m getting more trapped in the entanglements of my own mind.
By willing to un-control I’m debilitating my power.
My senses are numb and my heart is tight from all the wanting and needing.
The day-to-day struggle: ‘Am I finding release today?’ becomes the biggest burden.
Can I disrupt my will with the tools I discovered? Or will I keep winding myself in my own misery instead of welcoming the mystery of life (with open arms)?
I can control my mind, but I can’t control life. I understand this but I lack the humility to embody it. I can cope with life but I can’t rule it.
By trying to ‘understand’ it ALL I’m blocking my connection.
I still think I’m freeing myself, but I entomb myself in the depths of my skull.
Detachment is as far away as on day one.
But you know what?
I’m not going to give up. I will keep asking. I will keep suffering until I finally find rel(ease).
Yes – I’m learning to relax.
Yes, I’m finding trust and comfort within my own self.
I will love myself and everything around me in the most humble way – like a child loves her mother and a mother loves her child.
The devotion to the essence. – This is not a mission, this is my real life purpose.
I will stick to the places where the magic happens.
I will pour myself out there until there is nothing left inside of me.
Every moment is an opportunity to set yourself free.
I have 24 hours to be my best self.
24 hours to sit with my feelings.
24 hours to settle in with every breath I take.
24 hours to connect with myself first – and then with the world.
24 hours to shine my light.
24 hours to be in service.
24 hours to live my life.
Like a monstrous burden anxiety suspends me from aliveness.
Sensory input turns into an impenetrable nebula. I can’t distinguish between me and the rest.
A painful transformation disrupts my being. My existence morphs into vacuum.
This time I don’t resist. I sit and breathe. There is only black. I stare into the nothingness.
Is this the beginning or the end?
A void is clearing my chest. The fated moment of surrender has arrived.
Something cracks with a bubbly sound. The next level is here. Subconsciousness ruptures into recognition. Presence reciprocates.
I thought I won’t make it. I thought opium would be the only tranquilizer for my perturbed brain.
But life has other plans. Effortlessly I’m peeling off the old layer. Experience updated its metaphysics.
Life had started again with a new sort of darkness.