The Path

by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Thoughts on Navigating Ego Death, “The Path” and Spiritual Awakening

Okay. It’s time for some stream of consciousness – from the current of my experience.

This came through after conversing with many colleagues and friends (old and new ones) over these past couple of weeks… It’s been wild!

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Let’s talk about ego death and spiritual awakening:

How about coming back from spiritual awakening?

What do I mean by that?

Spiritual awakening can lift us. It can crack us open. It can move us. And sometimes it moves us far from reality.

Many of you will argue: There is not one reality!

I agree and I don’t agree – depending on the perspective I choose to look from.

What is reality in the context I’m talking about?

In my perception reality is rooted in earth and thus rooted in every being on the planet, because we are made of this earth.

If we neglect our offspring, I would argue: We are not walking the path! Why? Because the path is within our substance. The path is within.

Do I practice escapism or am I going deeper?

This has been a question I kept pondering for a long long time (probably for too long by now).

Am I running away? Am I avoiding life?

Or am I digging deeper?

At this point in time I know: Expansion doesn’t happen one-directional! I’m not the one to judge if I’m on track by evaluating the distance I have passed or the goals I have reached or not reached.

Awakening happens multi-directional.

So, there is no spiritual awakening in one area of my life and a “staying asleep” in the other.

That’s what makes it so hard at times and that what makes it seem like “being stuck”.

There might be aspects that are not conscious, yes, but surely all my being is shook by awakening.

It happens everywhere, literally in every cell – and surely in every situation I’m facing.

Every situation is an invitation, a tool or a lesson on this journey of awakening…

There is no “right” awakening. There is only awakening.

I bypass the moment in time, when I tell myself: “I just have to find my tribe now.”; “If I’d just do the work I love…”; “If I only had this partner…”; “If I only had the answer….”; “I just have to live my purpose” – and then I’m going to be fine…

No. That’s not how it works.

To use the words of author David Whyte: “How do you know you are on the path?” The answer is: “When there is no path!”

This is how you know: The path disappears!

As long as there is a sense of a path, the path is an illusion.

It sounds complicated but it is dead-simple: If there is no path, the path is everywhere.

And it’s meeting our ego with RESISTANCE.

As long as we are avoiding the resistance, we will not expand.

How about loving ourselves in that resistance?
How about observing the resistance?
What is there?! Is there really something there or are we making it up?

Going with the flow is amazing but how about making a difference in this world? How about walking hand in hand with the resistance on this planet?

A lot is being said about spiritual awakening.
A lot is being said about rainbows and unicorns.

Not enough is being said about, what can be considered as the shadow side of spiritual awakening. The dark side. The pain of transfiguration.

We can transcend and transmute but we can’t choose “the fun road”.

The work begins where comfort ends.

I don’t say there will never be comfort again, but actually, this is what I do think. There is no such thing as comfort.

It is uncomfortable to watch the deterioration of human kind while being attached to our own identity.

Nevertheless: We can’t fake ourselves into detachment!

I’m not sure if I’m getting this clear here. But I do my very best, because I am facing it first hand within my internal struggle to meet everyone as equals.

To witness all as part of the all and not as a crooked interpretation of my identity. The story of victim-mentality can only be transmuted by surrenderance.

We got to love it.

We are guided even when we are not guided.

It sounds paradoxical: We got to whole-heartedly accept it, be with it and then we will be able to rewire and rewrite the story of humanity.

Do we get anything in return? Hell no!
Do we win the lottery? NO!
Do we get rich? I don’t think that’s the matter.

Waking up is hard. It’s the hardest thing we can experience on this earth and it’s also the most rewarding thing.

The loss of identity does not go hand in hand with ‘cultural success’. Our idea of success has nothing to do with awakening. And that’s the difficult part. We might wake up and all of a sudden we have to find a way to speak to our co-workers, our clients or our boss…

It can be challenging!

The question that arose for me: How can I meet my fellow human beings with respect? How can I embrace the human experience?

The answer is by meeting my own self in my resistance.

“This is the perfect moment to love yourself.”

A valued friend shared her practice with me. The practice of loving myself at every moment.

In guilt, shame and anger. Even in emptiness there is love. There is no loveless emotion and where there is love there is acceptance.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds, Writing Experiment

Lifting the Treasures

Yesterday morning I found out that the digging is over.
It’s time to lift the treasures.

Everything is right here. There is nothing to invent or prepare but only to retrieve. Probably it has been that way all along.

Lost or determined? With the bold answer to this short reflective question the year 2024 ended for me.

For the longest time I have labeled myself as lost – until I understood that my ‘getting lost’ is my determination to dig deeper.

It literally came tumbling down on me throughout this New Year’s transition: It is time to lift the treasures!

My own treasures were buried deep down inside beneath disbelief and discontent.

All of these past years I have been digging and digging and digging – until I have discovered light amidst the darkest of tunnels. I have recovered the hidden treasures of my underworld.

Am I lost or determined?

The answer, finally, became so clear to me – I would like to scream it out loud (it has been for a lot of people around me):

I am determined to explore truth!

To me this means to embody all of human nature, all my emotions, every bone, cell and fibre of being alive.

I’m determined to lift the treasures here and now.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory, Writing Experiment

Decoding Enlightenment

I don’t want to make it easier for you, actually I want to make it harder.

There is no easy path, no walk in the park that leads to enlightenment.

Yes, some of us are born enlightened. That’s a different story.

But, as you have found the way here, I assume you are none of the second group. You are a seeker. You are passionately, wildly, silently screaming for answers. Answers you can never find, because you don’t get the clues you are expecting to get.

I tell you why this is: You don’t see the wood for all the trees!

Literally, there is so much advice out there.

Abundance seems to be just around the corner. And that is the biggest lie of our times.

Abundance is nowhere outside of yourself and for sure it is not around any corner.

Abundance is within you.

It is right there beneath your self-doubt. The path is right there – the next step, beyond your self-sabotage. Beyond your striving, your ambition, there is an abundance of resources.

Trust me. Or should I say: Trust you?

Can you feel it? This tingling sensation in your chest. This subtle vibration that’s keeping you alive? This is your path to abundance and thus your path towards enlightenment – the liberation you are so desperately seeking is right there.

So, what am I aiming for with “Decoding Enlightenment”? What is this about?

I guess it’s kind of a reminder of what I am here for.

I consider myself as a bridge builder, a translator of wisdom. A spokesperson for the broadly misunderstood, the spiritual misfits, the divine fools. I am not sure if I deliver, but whole-heartedly, I can say: I am working tirelessly on getting it ‘right’.

I am developing an understanding for the all, because I believe firmly that this is the only way to spread all-embracing compassion – the type of compassion our world needs right now!

So, without comprehending the scope of this post (maybe it is marginal): This seems to be the mission I’m showing up for: I am decoding enlightenment with you.

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Nothing to Prove

You have absolutely nothing to prove, because you are the only one walking your path.

Whatever you do is highly individual; highly yours.

That’s all you need to know – about yoga and maybe about life?

 
by Uli on Rough Diamonds

Thoughts on Resistance

The resistance that is coming up is your light.

Beneath all the anger there is the gift.

All of your unfulfillment is your gift in disguise.

Your body wants you to express this gift.

This is your purpose, wanting to come alive.

Your resistance is your body asking for devotion.

When your cells move in harmony you reach flow.

Your body can make the impossible possible.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Allow Abundance

Do you allow abundance or are you resisting the flow of life?

I’m sitting at a hotel close to Delhi Airport. A five months journey of full-on transformation is coming to an end. Mainly it was a journey to myself. As most of you know, I’m not travelling in order to explore places but to discover my inner landscapes.

On this trip, more than ever before, I was able to witness my own transformation.

India broke me open. It loosened the tight bits. It shook the rigids of my being.

Never have I felt so fluid. Never have I felt so full of excitement facing the challenges ahead.

Mainly because I understood that everything I’m ever experiencing is a creation of my own mind. So why would it be scary?

I am not in control. Clearly.

Life is in control and it is moving through me. This abundance of power can be unnerving at times, because it rattles the human condition.

Many people, including myself, talk about abundance. But honestly, I think there is a huge misconception taking place. One might think, once I am abundant, nothing can scare me anymore. Life will move smoothly.

And it does! Because life doesn’t care about you specifically. She just moves – smoothly in her own terms.

Life goes on with or without you.

Life is abundance and this is what she offers us too. The fun part is: This abundance is already right here.

BUT. And there is the big but: It’s not flowers and unicorns or an enormous amount of money in our bank accounts.

Abundance is change. Abundance is constant flow. We can not expect to experience abundance while fearing the consequences of change.

Change and transformation is inherently scary for the human mind – and so is abundance, if we really look at it with all honesty. This is what abundance is: It is change. And we do fear the change that abundance brings us…

What happens if the mind looses grip?
What happens if, suddenly, something else leads the way?

Call it heart. Call it heart-mind. Call it wisdom – the only truth there is.

Cause and effect. Constant movement. The abundance of life requires steady opening – constant destruction in one form or another…

It is the destruction of the old and an immediate creation of the new which leads to another destruction in every moment.

Abundance is powerful and it forcefully destructs the old – if you are ready or not.

 
by Uli on Transformation Inventory

Who Are You Without Your Mistakes?

Who are you without your mistakes? This is a question I kept pondering for a while now – probably for years.

Are you you? Without mistakes?

Are you fulfilling your “dharma” – without mistakes?

“In ‘doing’, there are always mistakes.”

This is what Swami Rakesh, my philosophy teacher at the 200 hours yoga teacher training I have just finished told me in a private consultation.

This implies: If we are not making any mistakes, are we doing?

I repeat, because it is so fundamental: Who are you without your mistakes?

You might walk, but do you walk in your own shoes?
You might do, but do you do you?

Or are you avoiding the thing you want to do, because you are avoiding mistakes?

Another perspective:

Do you learn without mistakes?

Of course not!

Perfection is not the path. It can’t be…. Why? Because we are here to learn.

The path is paved with mistakes. Detours. Ups and downs.

This is how we see.

This is how we dis-cover the things that are being hidden from us.

How will you be able to see the whole picture if you only look at what you want to see?

How do you feel fully if you avoid feeling the whole spectrum?

How do you find comfort in this life if you only walk on the bright side?

This is not it!

I know you know it!

Darkness is an aspect of the light. Without dark, there is no light.

This is more fundamental to understand than I could ever imagine… And yet, I’m scratching the surface…..