And sometimes life goes on in a way that we could not possibly foresee.
The work pays off when we least expect it.
Miracles happen that we could not imagine in our wildest dreams.
The puzzle is completing itself. We move on.
The darkest moments turn into our pivotal turning points of growth.
We know it deep down inside. We have done the work in a myriad of ways. And there she is: Life force. She was there all the way, but we could not receive her.
Alignment cracks us open. It happens. If we are ready or not. Things fall into place drastically.
We had no idea that it could be true.
What would your life look like if you’d remove the roadblocks NOW? Are you scared of the unknown? Scared of the light that is awaiting you on the other side of your fear?
Don’t be scared. Hit the road. It’s leading you home…
The yin gives up searching.
The yin is the full acceptance of the parts that still want to be transformed.
It is the knowing that there will always be parts that want to be transformed.
The yin is what comforts our discomfort.
She dresses the wounds.
She flares us open and yet she heals us.
The yin tells the long-forgotten stories. The stories that are still being lived through us.
The yin helps us to remember.
She nourishes the ground for us to stand on – and to eventually move on.
Text inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Follow your desire. Follow your destiny. These thoughts entered my mind a couple of days ago…
Your Desire is Your Destiny.
There is a thing about “knowing what I want” that I always underestimated.
Recently I had been studying the hermetic teachings deeply – if there is such thing as studying hermetic teachings.
I did not grasp the power of “mentalism” through the lecture itself, but by connecting the dots of my own life experience.
We can read as much as we want and still be reluctant to the fundamental truths that direct our life.
So: There is a thing about “knowing what I want” – a thing I would call magic:
The secret is not knowing what I want. The secret is acting upon it. Step by step by step….
What is action? In a few words: It is guided energy.
I can know everything, still my life won’t change.
I can understand all the rules of the universe and not change a thing in my life… if I don’t make a move.
Learning more about energy, I am understanding more and more that I am the one directing my life by directing the energy that I use with every single step that I take.
I can always ask myself: What makes me take that action? Do I really want this?!
It is shocking, but I ALWAYS have a choice.
This is nothing really new…
”Your thoughts create your reality”
I’ve been working with this universal truth for quite some time. Nevertheless only now I grasp the full scope of it.
I’ve experienced it first hand by manifesting things I wanted and things I clearly did not want in my life. In any case my actions directed the energy in a certain way that manifested this reality.
“The part of you that loves you the most creates the roadblocks that you are facing to make you build something out of it,” Gabor Maté placed this beautiful reminder on my path.
This quote helped me to forgive myself for all the supposedly detours that I took. Everything we do in our lives serves us in one way or another to fulfill a certain need. When we are traumatized we might hold on to any straw, but hell yeah, we survived!
The task is to figure out what these needs truely are and respond to them in a healthy or constructive way.
I am always directing my life. I am making decisions.
Healing is one decision away and so is success.
To quote Bob Proctor freely here: “…success is not about reaching a goal. It is continuous movement in the direction of a specific goal by making one decision after another…”
It is not about the milestones reached.
It is not about the number of fallbacks counted.
It is about the continuous flow of energy moved in a certain direction.
I am the one who chooses to accept, to learn, to surrender to what is….
I am the one who is transforming this life…. energy from one aggregate state to another.
I am transmuting emotional conditionings.
I am releasing trauma from my system.
I am transforming energy.
What I witness is that things manifest in no time. We are enabled to take action now.
This is the new new age stuff…
The days of thinking are over.
Doing is the new thinking.
“Change doesn’t happen overnight.”
This truth revealed itself to me several times.
Sure, I can comprehend that intellectually.
But incorporating the patience to bear that truth – that’s a different story….
I AM IMPATIENT. With myself. With the world around me. With the people who are “waking up” right now in this world. I don’t want to be impatient. I want to have compassion.
How do I want to have patience with other people if I am my hardest judge?
“You should be more confident.”
“You should be somewhere else in your life.”
Yeah, I’m claiming myself to be empathetic. But when it comes to my own development I bounce my head against the walls of my own resistance. “Resistance to what?,” you might ask… My resistance to feel what really wants to be felt in the very moment.
Writing this down raises a smile on my face. Warmth is softening my chest. “Take it easy,” an internal voice whispers into my awareness.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.”
Mary Anne Radmacher
Honestly, this quote moved me.
How much time do I give myself? To evolve, to learn, to remember, to integrate?
How many times do I rush into a decision?
How many times do I not listen to my exhaustion?
What this whole pandemic thing (call it whatever you please) teaches me is: PATIENCE. And I am so freakin’ grateful for this – even if it’s the hardest lesson I have yet to learn.
What I learnt over and over again from my past is that life does not follow a chronological timeline.
I can manifest. I can picture my brightest future. As soon as I take steps new challenges arise. New insecurities show up.
Surprise, surprise – the body is striking. The mind is rebelling.
And here you are: “Wait a minute? I have asked for this, why is it that hard?”
Because we grow in sections.
Friction is a companion on our journey.
Challenge will never leave us.
Challenge comes when we least expect it and, surely, when we most need it in order to make our own decisions.
They are here to test us.
When universe asks: “Are you serious?”
Do you go all in?
All in often times means not to push hard. It means to pull back. To take rest. To cry. To sleep. To recover. To re-cover what you have buried beneath new layers of life experience.
Something you considered as healed may re-inflames.
And then it is up to you to open your eyes to reality. Will you take the time to heal? Or will you distract yourself again and not move on?
The best advice I can give myself these days (as a fire sign) is: SLOW THE F*ck DOWN. Do you. Keep clear. Don’t overdo. Move along, but do it in your own pace (or slightly slower.)
Is there something you have overlooked in your enthusiasm?
Is your body asking for something else than your busy mind does deliver?
Is there anything at all that needs to be done right now?
Do you remember to breathe?
Breeeeeaaaathe through discomfort.
Move through hardships with grace.
Accept the challenge.
Change is here. Change is now. By now most of us seem to agree on this: Change is inevitable.
But how do we proceed on our journey?
The fear of change is creating a huge shadow overcasting the sky of opportunity.
It is our turn to step up and step right into this fog. Now is the time to shine, fellow lightworkers. Don’t be scared of this huge wall of darkness in front of you. It is only energy and you are able to transform it.
Give in and surrender to your feelings. This is how you let the wall dissolve. This is collective shadow work. Allow your cells to transmute.
Open up. Loose grip. Bow down. Give in, soul.
Devote yourself to the truth.
Melt into the moment. Accept the challenge that is being presented right in front of you.
Look through the veil. Open yourself up and step into reality.
Solve the problems that you are facing with the means that you have instead of blaming, blaming, blaming… the circumstances or everyone else who appears to be incapable of solving your problems, because they are your problems and not theirs.
You have the power to solve those problems if you are willing to see the resources you are given.
What are you fighting for? And what are you revolting?
Let go of your comfort and then let go of your discomfort. As simple as that.
“The great surrendering” is here. We have the chance to come back to our senses.
Confusion leads to expansion if we let it.
Chaos is the motor of our progress.
Challenge is the driving force of the evolution of consciousness.
Fear is our magical tool.
Fear vanishes the ego. Let it in.
Fear forces us to dive into the unknown.
The ego can’t persist and it will succumb to unity.
This is our unique opportunity to come back to life.
Just now in the subway a word came into my head: Sacrifice.
I know the word, but am I familiar with it?
Years ago I met this martial arts athlete in New Zealand. He introduced me to his secrets of success: determination, loyalty and sacrifice.
I got it. He had to train hard in order to be a successful fighter and he doesn’t have time for much else – apart from his pals and family.
But honestly, for me it was always hard to grasp. ‘To sacrifice’ always sounded slightly pathetic to me.
This morning I took a shower and I knew my day would get better if I’d turned the tap on cold.
I did. And interestingly I felt nothing.
Well, not nothing. But I did not feel the need to control.
I didn’t control my breath. I didn’t tense up. I didn’t move around tipoeing.
Automatically my heart started pumping my blood a little bit more intensely. My breath speeded up. I inhaled deeply and exhaled strongly.
My body took over. Within a minute I was wide-awake and I had a smile on my face.
In this moment I realized that sacrifice had been a part of my life ever since. But it didn’t feel like it, because subconsciously I always knew that my thoughts, my perception of myself, my limitations and the world around me is just an illusion.
The image that I have of myself is not true. What I think I am capable of is not true. Or let’s phrase it differently: What I think I am not capable of is not true.
I realized how much I had been trying to control my body during these cold showers.
Why? Because I did not trust in my body. This morning I found out that it is completely unnecessary to distrust, because my body knows better than me.
The same thing happened to me the other day when I did over one hundred sun salutations for the first time in my life while during a yoga challenge I attended. I did not know that I was capable of such a physical task.
I set the intention in my mind to let go of control. I said it out loud: “Okay, body, it is your turn.” – and all of a sudden another intelligence took over. The intelligence of my body.
What does it have to do with sacrifice?
Everything. These experiences showed me what happens if I am willing to truly step out of my comfort zone. People who know me are aware of my ‘Aries’-nature: Avoiding challenges is not my thing.
Nevertheless there is a whole other layer of ‘control’ that I didn’t really grasp.
By sacrificing my need to control I am gaining self-confidence, trust in life, in my actions and in my body.
The more I am willing to let go of convenience the more I ‘prepare’ myself for… Yeah, for what?! I prepare myself for making uncomfortable decisions, for listening to my internal voice, for stepping up, saying ‘yes’ to things that scare the shit out of me….
One definition of the noun ‘sacrifice’ according to Merriam Webster dictionary is: “destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else” – as simple as that. In religious terms it means ‘to offer an innocent being to the gods’ (I could make a huuuge topic out of it, but I won’t.) What am I offering? I am offering my victim mentality, my hesitation and my self-doubt in exchange for self-responsibility and energy.
This morning I had a choice: Do I want to remain in the passive, supposedly ‘cozy’ state of the early morning or do I want to wake up fully, gain clarity and start my day active?
It is interesting, because my example shows how we can actually make use of our ego. Our ego is our means of transport. This is something a lot of people don’t speak about. At least I find that it is not emphasized enough. The ego is not only bad.
Our ego is our messenger. It transmits the spark. The idea is to catch fire, recognize it and carry it through – burning down our resistance – willingly.
How do we do it WITHOUT ego? We don’t. What we do is, we make use of our ego and then we shift gears and allow our subconscious or our body to take over.
This, again, requires trust. The willingness to cross that line. The desire to cross that line of self-pity, fear and anxiety and trust that the grass is greener on the other side.
Don’t get me wrong. There is a time to feel comfortable. There is a time for remaining still and hibernating in our cozy cocoon. But also there is a time to step up, step out, move ahead, go your own way, make an effort for the greater good (in the end).
Sometimes we have to sacrifice comfort, friends, relationships, jobs and even the connection to our family (is it responsibility or just the feeling of duty?) in order to become our own person.
Sometimes we have this deeper knowing that there is ‘something else out there’. In my experience it is well worth it to listen to that tiny voice and disregard ALL those voices telling you that you can’t – the external and the internal. YOU CAN! You can do whatever the f* you want.
What I found out over the course of the past years, especially the last year, is that there always is something else out there – as long as we have this slight feeling, this intuition, this quiet subtle voice of our heart, our soul, however you want to call it. Even if the voice is quiet, the voice is right! GO for it!
We are allowed to grief all the things that we sacrifice, but we are also allowed to welcome our new self. Our stronger self. Our real self?
Surf the wave of change.
Commit to your own growth.
Take your goals seriously.
It is your life and you choose what to dedicate your time to.
If you are longing for connection, isolation won’t get you any closer.
If you want to become rich, being greedy doesn’t expand your wealth.
If you want to believe in yourself, questioning your worth is self-defeating.
Self-doubt zeroizes trust.
Negativity retains resistance.
As soon as you open up, things will change.
Allow the impossible.
Okay, I haven’t done much writing in the past couple of months. Why? Because it has lost it’s priority – temporarily: I have started a job with a content marketing agency which requires me to dig back into SEO and various other tasks. In addition to that I have accomplished a row of video editing jobs which took me by surprise by mid june.
So, prospectively I will be writing even more than ever before. Writing this down here makes me realize that this is quite an achievement! I am actually earning money with content writing for the first time in my life to be really accurate.
My inspirational flow for growthbuddy decelerated suddenly – for several reasons I guess:
Firstly because I had been working so much. Secondly: My life and my spiritual health had experienced a major uplift – so, I didn’t really know what to write about after getting out of such a deep valley of darkness.
I have stuff to do at the moment. For the first time in my life the heavy weights on my shoulders are not dragging me down to the underworld anymore, but they actually anchor me in the ground.
I have to admit: I loved working as hard as I did in the last weeks – even though it was very stressful and sometimes I felt exhausted to the bones…
After not doing ‘real’ work in a long time I felt finally reinvigorated and in some way reintegrated – into society. (I didn’t imagine I would say something like this voluntarily.)
Even if I don’t want to admit it: I like that feeling.
I am officially growing roots! Some of you might rejoice in hope now, but I am not talking about settling down, haha. This is about an internal fundament, a settling of my values, a harvest of what I sowed in the past good seven years of self-discovery…
Okay, I didn’t find the time to indulge into the flowing river of my thoughts and my insights. And you know what? My head is exploding and my heart is bursting… I can not not write it all out.
It feels like a reservoir inside of me is filled to the brim – and the dam is about to break. It is not only a reservoir of ideas, but also of unprocessed emotions and experiences.
I realized something fundamental:
For me it is not okay to not write. I don’t know what exactly is pulling me but more and more I come to the acceptance that I have to write. It is part of my mission here. I am called to do so – like others are called to create a sanctuary for people in need or plant a communal garden. (You name it.)
I am called to write – even if there are doubts (massive doubts!) and downtimes.
It is the cure for my self-diagnosed ADHD. I don’t write despite my concentration deficit disorder – I write because of it. Writing forces me into focus. And it does so much more….
It helps me to filter. It helps me to manifest – not only my goals in the physical realm. It clarifies my thoughts. It clears my perception of reality. It changes my viewpoint. It makes me see things – at all or from a different angle.
I have to look at ideas from a different perspective by writing them down. I have to research. Sometimes I get lost in research and I find answers to questions that I didn’t know I had…
My writing forces me to learn nonstop.
And learning creates happiness within myself.
If I don’t write, I lose track.
Of course – periods of not writing are okay. They are even essential. I am also coming to some sort of ‘allowance’ in regards to longer writing breaks. There is no point in punishing myself or pushing myself beyond limits, because it ruins my creative flow as well as my mental and physical health… But at the same time, I need writing to maintain my spiritual health.
There are huge leaps taking place. I am invited into unfamiliar and often dark realms. What I discover there demands to be integrated into my experience on this earth.
What I have learnt over time is that this is my gift: I am discovering things that are scary and hard to comprehend for the soul that chose to incarnate here… By appreciating this gift I make writing less of a struggle.
Writing is my practice. It calms my nerves and makes sense of this whole life experience.
Do what you love.
What if you had the time?
What if you had the answer?
What if you had what it takes?
What if you would allow flow?
What if you’d qualify yourself anew each day?
The universe works in mysterious ways.
Question your thoughts, but never lose trust.
Everything is possible. Everything is possible.
2021 is in full swing – and so am I. At least that’s the theory.
Practically I’ve been crafting THE perfect New Year’s post for the past two weeks – and of course I stressed myself out about it.
As I indicated in ‘outdated’, I want to start afresh this year – with my creative processes and also in my professional life. The year has just begun and I had already been pressuring myself towards ‘a new me’. Guess what? I cracked solemnly with this approach – and disclosed a deep truth: Change is hard.
Transformation is a long and tiring process. It requires determination. It includes the celebration of small wins and the acceptance of continuous losses.
This is what change is: It is the destruction of the old and the creation of the new – all at once. And: It is not a straight line. Inherently ‘change’ is messy.
“Being the change” – This is nothing simple to strive for. It denotes the turning of the tides and the solidity of a rock at the same time.
The other day, on one of my numerous walks during lockdown, I saw a sticker at a gutter that shouted the catchphrase: “Be the change.”
‘I am the change!,’ something inside of me shouted back.
I exhaled and felt a sense of ease when I understood: ‘I am a prototype. I evolve in iterations.’
These days we all are ‘the change’. And this big change doesn’t happen overnight. It is uncomfortable and debilitating at times and it doesn’t smell like incense sticks and essential oils.
These days I remember what this blog is about. This blog is the result of a lot of frustration and the realisation that there is no change possible in this world, if I don’t start changing myself.
“The first step is to become aware of the fog that is in your mind. You must become aware that you are dreaming all the time. Only with awareness do you have the possibility of transforming your dream.”
As Miguel Ruiz induces in ‘The Four Agreements’: I became aware that I am not aware, when I started this blog experiment in 2017.
It dawned me that I’m the creator of everything in my life – all the achievements as well as all the turmoil.
Only gradually I comprehend the depth of the deconditioning process I got myself into:
Most of our life is determined by the subconscious. And most of the time we are unconscious about what our subconscious is doing. That’s why it’s called the subconscious. I’m referring to psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung here, who determined the state of the art when it comes to shadow work. He claims: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
So, how do we not let the subconscious rule our life? Or let’s say: How do we become conscious of the unconscious?
Yes, we practice mindfulness. (Yay, I got there in the end…)
Even though mindfulness experienced a devaluation due to its inflationary use. In my personal journey of self-discovery it continually increases its significance…
So: “What’s the role of mindfulness in the process of self-discovery?”
I would say mindfulness is the protagonist of this whole play. (In the end it’s a game. Call it karma if you like.)
So, what will happen to your life, if you become more mindful?
1. You Will Arrive Where You Are
Okay, where to begin? Just to make sure we have a common ground to start from: How do I define mindfulness here?
When you research the science of mindfulness, the first thing you are going to come across is the practice of mindfulness meditation or zen meditation.
From a buddhist point of view mindfulness is the essence of meditation: By watching your thoughts pass you will create a gap between you and your thinking. You will eventually learn to differentiate the thought from the thinker. With time you will start to perceive reality in a different, less personal way. Zen master and buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh describes meditation as ‘a serene encounter with reality’.
A german translation for the word mindfulness is ‘Geistesgegenwärtigkeit’. ‘Geist’ is the spirit or the mind. ‘Gegenwärtigkeit’ is the presence. ‘Presence of mind’. What is the presence of mind, if we look at it plainly? It is being aware of what our mind is doing…
There was a time in my life when I couldn’t peel potatoes or wash the dishes without getting an anxiety attack. I was not able to focus on the present moment, because I was so tangled up in my to-do-list. I was so focussed on my achievements that regular household-chores seemed to be a waste of time to me.
There was a huge discrepancy between what I was doing in the physical world and what was going on in my head.
Life became very dissatisfying this way, because I missed it.
Through mindfulness I started to return to the presence. Already meditating for a view minutes a day changed my perception of the world around me drastically.
Especially through long-term-travelling I learnt to look closely at things. By looking closely at my environment, I learnt to look closer at my thoughts, too.
I became mindful. I stopped rushing and I started to enjoy the small things again.
2. You Get To View Yourself From a Different Perspective
‘To be mindful’ means so much more than ‘arriving in the presence’. According to etymonline it can be translated as ‘remembrance’. I like that translation.
When you become mindful, you start to remember – not only how much pleasure it is to walk slow or to prepare fresh food, but over time you will remember who you are deep down inside…
“Know thyself,” is the only way to go in the process of ‘awakening’.
How do you want to ‘know thyself’, if you never take the time to actually look at who you are?
Mindfulness is your tool in becoming aware of yourself: What are you telling yourself each day? What do you truely enjoy doing? How do you treat yourself? What do you put in your body? Do you use a lot of I ‘shoulds’ or ‘musts’?
From my current perspective on ‘awakening’ it is a constant process of surfacing – layer after layer after layer. There is so much to look at:
There is your behaviour.
There is your way of thinking.
There is your environment.
There are the activities you invest your time in, the people you spend time with, what you eat, how you are treating your body and so on and so on…
It sounds simple, but it’s a big step to look at all aspects of yourself.
3. You Will Identify Triggers And Find A Way To Transform Them
For me it is still a painful and tenacious process to admit that I am the one who creates everything in my life – every success as well as all the chaos. And I don’t mean this in a sense of ‘prompting an order to the universe’.
I create by acting – in one way or another. If I don’t take the time to look at my actions and the roots of my actions I won’t live my own life, but the life controlled by a mind that is hacked by it’s conditioning – determined by reaction rather than intentional deed.
Luckily life offers potential for growth around every corner: Triggers are the signposts towards the land of self-discovery!
These days I get triggered a lot! And every trigger shows me an arena of my life, where I’m not willing or not able to take responsibility for my own life at the moment.
4. You Will Reveal Your True Motives
A quote of buddhist nun Pema Chördrön demonstrates the role of mindfulness in the process of self-discovery: “The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
What do you want? And what do you think you want? How do you spend your time?
The more your start looking at yourself, the more you will ask yourself why you behave a certain way. And this is where the magic of mindfulness starts to unfold.
What drives you, really? What are your true values? Which values do you share with your friends and your family?
We are conditioned to believe in what we see. “To have faith is to believe unconditionally,” writes Don Miguel Ruiz in “The Four Agreements”.
What we see in our own reality is not what we are or what we are capable of. It is a story that either we have created ourselves or that has been told in order to make life a comprehensible experience. The human mind loves context.
It’s good to have context, but expansion can only happen if we create ‘space’ for ourselves. Imagine for a moment you would pursue exactly what you want to achieve in your life. You think you would fail? Have you tried it? I wrote an article on this two years ago…
The more mindful you become the more you will realize that the image you have created of yourself is just – yes – an image. You can easily rewrite it, reframe it, recolour it. But first you have to identify which story you are telling yourself.
The more aware you become of your true feelings and your needs the more aware you will automatically become of which beliefs are holding you back.
Slowly you will uncover your motives, recover your faith and ‘reinvent’ your own conditioning. But remember, it happens in iterations. And iterations are NEVER a straight line.
5. You Will Eventually Start Acting
For a long time I wanted to learn another language apart from english. But something inside of me always blocked me from pursuing it. Until I realized that I just have to do it – despite the belief inside of me that I don’t have the capacity to do it.
The reality was that I didn’t even get started, because by default I thought I would fail. By practicing mindfulness I identified my false belief system. I found out that a lack of self-confidence underlies nearly every shortcoming that I perceive. My lack of self-discipline was caused by this lack of self-esteem.
So, how did I eventually start learning Italian? I established a tiny language learning routine. And with the first results my old beliefs started to fade. There was no foundation anymore for my old beliefs, because over time I undoubtedly made progress. When I ordered my first breakfast in Florence in Italian followed by a loose conversation with the waiter I couldn’t deny it anymore: I am able to learn another language! This experience of self-efficacy opened my eyes.
And this is how I’m wishing to approach all challenges throughout 2021 and beyond.
6. You Will Start To Love Yourself More
What I understood throughout the practice of mindfulness is that I have needs that want to be met. The more I understand this, the more I’m starting to value myself and the more I understand what this self-love is everybody talks about (including myself).
More and more I understand that I’m not crazy, but human. ‘A human in denial’ could be a title for my book. (I don’t know where that came up from, but I won’t erase it from this post. Who knows – maybe it’s valuable information.)
It’s a Process
Okay, I realized that this article doesn’t really find an end.
There are SO many aspects to address around mindfulness. What I wanted to get across is that self-development is called self-development for a reason.
There is something to develop. It is already there, but we can’t see it. Like a film reel. We need to soak in various liquids and hang from the ceiling to dry in order to get a full image of who we really are. But be careful not to overexpose. Haha, that’s what I like doing. It results in tears and lengthy blog posts like this one.
As I mentioned at the very beginning: change is hard. This whole awakening process is not a straight line. It’s easier said than done to transform negative thinking patterns. But it is not impossible. I have the suspicion that we reached a point collectively where change is not to be suspended.
To throw in another Thich Nhat Hanh: “If we want to become mindful rather than just knowing about mindfulness, we need to establish our own regular practice.”
It is easy to do things the same way over and over again. It is easy to cling to assumptions about the world and about ourselves, because they allow us to stick to our belief patterns. They are convenient, because they don’t require will-power.
It is an effort to change our belief system, yes. But it is doable with awareness, patience and compassion.
“nobody can save you but
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly
nobody can save you but
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don’t, don’t, don’t.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
do you want to experience
death before death?
nobody can save you but
and you’re worth saving.
it’s a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.
think about it.Charles Bukowski
think about saving your self.”