What would happen if we would bless instead of pray?
What would happen if we would truly appreciate this miracle called life?
What would happen if all of a sudden we would feel nothing but compassion for one another?
What would happen if we would only trust?
What would happen if we would understand each other so well that words were not necessary anymore?
What would happen if we would create a language out of joy?
What would happen if we would give each other space instead of advice?
What would happen if we could reach through each other’s resistance and connect from the heart?
Would we set us free?
Would there be hope?
Question your habits.
Challenge your perspective.
Shatter your resistance.
Dance it all out.
Appreciate the unconcsious.
Raise your vibration.
Set yourself free.
Do you know these people who set the room on fire with their energy? It can be a colleague, a friend, a friend of a friend, a family member or somebody else you met personally. They spread such a lightness. Their mood affects the whole group.
Intuitively they seem to respond to every (social) situation. They seem to express themselves naturally – in a way like nothing can interfere with their peace. A welcoming aura surrounds them that draws you in…
What do they do differently?
I ask some counterquestions:
When was the last time you started singing in the shower as loud as you can? When was the last time you were smiling at a stranger? – Not just a friendly smile, but a smile from the bottom of your heart? When was the last time you were happy for no obvious reason?
How many days do you spend caught up in the bubble of your head? How many days are you putting up a mask?
The core of our being supplies us with energy. And this energy manifests in happiness, appreciation or expression of excitement.
This energy radiates from the core of our being – if we let it. But a lot of times we don’t let it.
So what about these people who are like a warming fire on a winter’s night?
The energy that radiates around them is the energy of a kid climbing a tree. They act out their inner child – with grace and wonder. They are never getting out of touch with their playfulness.
They don’t only express their excitement (verbally or with their behaviour), but also their vulnerability. And this is what creates trust and in the end encourages people to be themselves too.
They are the real role models – the ones who demonstrate confidence without being manipulative.
Love circulates around them.
If we want to manifest love we have to stop creating walls that disconnect us from our environment and ourselves.
Our mind is always trying to protect ourselves. We are trying to ‘fit in’. This is how our society is organized. We have to fit in. We have to adapt. We can’t follow our own rhythm.
But this is what moves us away from a purposeful and authentic life. And this is the root cause of all problems.
‘Owning your power’ means to be able to celebrate our singularities in any given moment – without a self-regulating voice in our head that tells us how to behave.
To surrender to the moment equals to surrender to yourself.
We have to encounter ourselves and the world around us with kindness and admiration of what is.
This is spreading the seed of unconditional love. This is how we create a sanctuary for the ‘un-loved-ones’ – everybody who is carving connection.
“Breaking the ice” means melting the hardcover.
If we keep sustaining our hardcovers we suspend ourselves from life.
With vulnerability and approachability compassion is possible.
This is how we connect with each other on a core level – by sharing this little spark inside of us.
Let us be the people who shine the light and set the world on fire.
When the pain gets unbearable the mind gives up explaining.
The transformative energy of pain is what will eventually make you take action.
This is what I call healthy disillusionment.
All of a sudden you have to find solutions to problems where you can’t wrap your head around.
Instead to intellectualize you have to internalize your experience.
The more things don’t work out the more you have to go within.
The collapse of your construct of thoughts levels the ground for something new.
This is the power of disillusionment.
Disillusionment is the gateway towards inner truth. It is ‘the path’.
Every challenge you overcome will increase your dignity and your self-respect.
It is up to you if you face the pain in order to find your path or if you distract yourself.
It is disillusionment that brings you closer to your own needs.
So, be welcome, dive in and appreciate the pain.
Trust that things end when they are supposed to end.
Trust that the right beginning is just around the corner.
Trust that everything happens at the right time and things will fall into place.
Trust that you will have the perfect solution for every problem you are facing.
Trust that everything is already done.
The red of the early morning sun brightens up the facades of Munich.
It is 6:28 am.
The Olympiaturm shimmers in the distance.
A heavy warmness soothes my heart and my whole body.
Tears roll down my cheek.
What a great miracle is this life?
And I’m a part of it. I’m a part of something much bigger than myself.
A humble gratitude comes over me.
As the day is dawning it dawns me what an incredible opportunity this life is?
All these challenges. All these obstacles. All the confusion invites me – like this day is inviting me – to keep exploring.
Opportunities open up every single day in my life.
It is up to me to only focus on the obstacles or to focus on the possibilities.
And what is possible? Basically everything that I can imagine and everything that I want to afford.
Everything I’m willing to pay the price for.
Why would I spend so much time deciding which direction to go? There is only forward. Okay, I might take detours. I might ‘waste’ some time.
But hey. I’m trying new things nearly every day. I’m getting more and more inventive when it comes to ‘making a living’.
Maaaaan, I thought I lost it. I was looking for my excitement for months.
Yesterday night I was sitting at the campfire at my favourite campground in Munich. This year and last year I spent a couple of weeks at “The Tent”, but for some reason this place feels like home.
There were some italians sitting next to me. “Di dove siete?”, I started a one hour conversation with this couple.
“Why do you speak italian?”, the german guy next to me asked me.
In this moment I realized what I had learnt in the past two years. Not only italian language skills, but essential knowledge about life.
I am so fucking grateful for every person who dipped my nose into my own truth.
“You have to take off your mask.” “Put yourself on number one.” “You are lost.” “Breeaaaathe in and out and in and out and in and out.”
More than ever before I realize that this is all the process of non-stop-learning.
Most of us think there is a goal. Most of us think there is something to reach – on a spiritual level, but there is only the expansion of our own consciousness and the daily work.
I read a headline on Medium the other day. It said something like “Get Out Of The Start Up Porn”. I haven’t opened this article, but I can liveley picture its content.
We are creating the perfect business in our head.
We are creating the perfect relationship in our head.
We are creating the perfect amount of money on our bank account.
We are creating our dream job.
“I did the most when I didn’t have money.”, Nicolas, a talkative italian guy told me in the kitchen of ‘The Tent’ a couple of weeks ago. “It stretches my inventive spirit not to have much money.”, Kunal, a soccer street performer, reflects his situation.
“Yeah, but it also limits your imagination of what is possible.”, the german “But” replies.
Well, I get it. Money is a means of transport, a source of energy. We can’t survive without it. But does it really set us free?
I doubt it deeply. The happiest people I have ever met, the ones that unwittingly infected me with their life energy, they didn’t have money or they are not ‘doing it for the money’.
Money is not their major propulsion.
What are they doing? They are just following the invitations. They are not trying to create their dream life – they just live it. Now. They play the game. They follow their excitement. They actually take the opportunities instead of contemplating about them.
This is what it is all about. It is about taking opportunities and they are paving the way. It is about honouring the miracle of life – every single day.
I have to follow my own vision. I have to believe in my own survival strategies. Yes, I need help, but what I really need is trust and excitement in order to stay motivated.
Today’s morning sun was my invitation to keep going, to keep learning, to keep encountering, to keep listening.
Every opportunity that I have in my life is exclusive to me. I am invited to follow my own path and so are you to follow yours….
Don’t dream about the destination but enjoy your views.
Keep walking even though the trail gets narrow at times.
The conditions might change.
Intimidated by the fog you doubt the path.
You may have to double check your map – make small adjustments.
Sometimes you might have to go back and change the route completely.
Or you have to drop weight because the load gets too heavy.
The secret is to start every day with the first step.
It’s up to you either to resign – puzzled and paralyzed.
Or to keep calm, to settle within, to study the weather conditions. To adjust and equip and keep walking.
Don’t let the circumstances scare you. Be well aware and well prepared for change.
Let awe and admiration guide you, not dread and doubt or agitation.
This is perseverance. This is the path.
What would happen if you would pursue the thing you are the most interested in? What if you would choose the one thing you really want to have learnt at the end of your life?
Just imagine it for a moment. How would you feel? And now imagine you wouldn’t pursue this goal?
Yeah, you might fail. Yeah, maybe you will loose all your money, but what if you wouldn’t ever have tried?
What is holding you back from doing it? Is the voice in your head telling you that you don’t have time? You are not good enough? You were never good at it? You don’t have money? You are too old? Your friends won’t like you anymore?
“Your thoughts become your reality.” Yeah right, we’ve heard this a hundred of times.
Only now I understand how fundamental this impact is. If I think negative about myself, if I don’t trust myself, if I continuously think I’m not good enough I will never achieve anything. I will never feel content or satisfied with myself.
More than that: Self-hatred is what manifests. If I don’t change these thoughts I will never manifest self-worth. This is something I have to generate from the core of myself.
You might ask: ‘What does self-worth have to do with pursuing your passion?’
Everything! I have an example for this: Since some time I’m offering coaching in the field of my profession. I give storytelling and video production workshops.
But the beginning was rough. I thought “I’m not good enough.”, “What if I don’t have an answer to all the questions?” The first time I was really fucking nervous. I thought I can never master this. I can never carry the audience. I can never teach anything.
Now, nearly two years later I did it five times and my perspective changed completely.
The other day one girl from a course last year honoured me with the best compliment I’ve ever received in my entire life: “I learnt from you because you are so passionate about it.”
What did I do? I helped her editing a video. Together we shortened a four minute clip to 40 seconds. She told me the way I did it was so inspiring – so calm, with patience and sure instinct.
This blew my mind.
How did I get there? Yes, I learnt the software in university. Yes, I did a lot of internships. What happened? I just liked it. I started to experiment. I edited as much as I could and over the years snipping moving images became a second nature.
But how did this happen? I liked editing, so I edited.
“Make your passion your addiction.”
Now that I write it down here it sounds like a romantic life story. But I tell you what: There are dozens of skills I haven’t started learning yet, because I think I’m not good enough.
How could I not understand this? It is just about doing it. Doing one step at a time. Of course you are not a Mozart from the moment you are starting to compose music and you are not a Picasso the first time you wield the paintbrush. But you are getting there eventually (or at least a bit closer).
Your mind will find thousands of reasons not to aim for the things you really want to do. Is it a lack of money or talent. There will always be something else to do. Something more convenient, something easier or socially more accepted.
The secret is to just get started, to do the first step, to make space for the things you like, to make your passion your priority.
And what happens if you do something you like? You feel joy. So why not make it your addiction?
Make Your Passion Your Priority
Yesterday I was speaking with some people about this topic. There was a guy who just went through a similar learning experience like me.
Our question was: “What do people do differently who are always on ‘doer mode’?” Or my interpretation: What do people do differently who immerse fully in an activity? What do they do to not have these big walls of self-doubt? How do they make the critic shut up?
The secret is that they just follow their intuition. They don’t listen to these voices in their head.
And – if we want to hear it or not – we have the choice if we listen to the voices in our head or not.
What would happen if you would turn all the “I should’s” into “I do’s”? Your life might finally moves into the direction you want. You might discover joy within yourself.
If anybody tells you “follow your passion” is bullshit please don’t believe them.
Go on! “Follow your bliss” as Joseph Campbell would say.
“Finding your passion is the natural outgrowth of healing.”Margaret Paul, Psychologist
Find your bliss or you will never find joy in your life. Be as passionate as you want. But be passionate. Make it your life mission. What else is this life about?
Life is about feeling alive. So do what makes you feel the most alive.
If you have other suggestions let me know. I’m open minded, but I prefer to do what makes me feel most alive rather than anything else.
“It is not a luxury to pursue this experience [passion], but a necessity. Without this special experience that gives meaning to our lives we tend to wander about, aimlessly looking for someone, something, or some substance to fill the void within us.,” says Margaret Paul. The author of the book I’m studying currently. It is called “Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child.”
When we are passionate we forget our problems. We are in the flow. We feel content. We get in touch with our true nature. If we manage to fully immerse in an activity there is no future and no past. We arrive in the present moment.
Is there anything healthier in this life than this feeling? I doubt it. By not pursuing our passion, we exist, but do we live? Come on…
Please double check your “I should’s”, your “I always wanted’s” and your “As a kid I always liked to do’s”.
It is up to you to fuel what you are passionate about.
If you can’t find anything it is might be a sign that you are caught up in self-hatred. Then this is might be something you want to deal with?
Go on. Aim for healing, but be nice to you. Give yourself time. Whenever you are impatient ask yourself, why you are in such a hurry to get through your life.
Be patient. Feed your body and nourish your soul and the rest will come.
Start with small changes. Surround yourself with people who do something completely else then you are doing. Get inspired. Don’t resign the battle.
Observe. Soak in the positive vibes of the people who found their bliss – without envy or resentment.
Just be happy to have the chance to be a part of it.
Go ahead and find your happy place!
“The ego is concerned with getting something while the inner self is creating. In this way creation is the motor for unconditional love. “
… and three ways to practice it.
“You don’t know why you do it, but life will reward you. It’s like going to the gym.” Adriano is annotating my – at times exhausting – nomad life style. I still have to smile about the metaphor as my lifestyle is not at all healthy at times.
I learn a lot during travelling – about: being happy with less, appreciating privacy or a space to live in, valuing a fully equipped kitchen, absorbing hugs from people I just met a few moments earlier… These are a few of many things travelling teaches me. But what do I benefit the most from? Probably it is the skill of ‘being grateful’.
‘Be grateful’ might sounds a bit platitudinous. It is one of the phrases that got exploited by our ‘cultural narrators’ (I have to admit, I stole this expression from school of life.)
Nevertheless it is so important to cultivate this well-quoted ‘gratefulness’ in order to live life properly. Recently I found out that it is actually a skill to be grateful.
First you might have to think about things to be grateful for. “Oh, today I had a coffee and a really good chat with a friend, my boss or the taxi driver was in a good mood, the weather was good…”
Appreciation grows exponentially.
If you practice being grateful everyday, you will notice more and more things to be grateful for. Appreciation grows exponentially. It’s like a perpetuum mobile that keeps moving as soon as you prompt it.
One day, you don’t need to tell yourself anymore to ‘be grateful’. It becomes your natural trait.
What happens when you are grateful? Life loses its tightness automatically. You are beginning to appreciate the huge miracle you are a part of. It is here. It is you. You are beginning to appreciate the beauty.
When you know good things will come float into your life, you will walk through life only with curiosity. But you need to initiate it. You need to get in touch with the core of joy in order to cultivate it. At the beginning you need to search for the beauty. But as soon as you find it, you can nourish it – like a plant that grows inside of you.
Alright, but how do we practice gratefulness? This is not a real threesome-style threesome, but here we go.
1. List of Gratefulness
Write down what you are grateful for regularly. Maybe you even start a small book only for things to be grateful for. It can be the tiniest things, you will see how this will change your whole perspective on your day.
2. Gratefulness as a Reward System
Let gratefulness be your reward system – appreciate your own achievements. Everytime you finish something during the day take a moment of appreciation. For example if you tick off a task of your To-Do-List, this can be a reason to smile. It can be the smallest task. But if you take a moment every time you accomplish something, you will automatically gain gratitude. A positive side-effect is a rise of motivation as you honour yourself much more.
3. Minute of Appreciation
It took a while – but nowadays I’m trying to use technology as my tool (and not my undertaker as it used to be due to self-diagnosed social-media-addiction.) Set a daily alarm for a “Minute of Appreciation” (or three or five minutes, it is up to you.). Only one minutes a day will help you to activate the flow of gratitude. It doesn’t matter which time of the day it will be. In the morning it will boost your energy level, but also it can be a good way to balance the afternoon low. Or even before going to sleep it can be a good fertilizer for positive dreams.
All this – of course – is perceived from the perspective of a spoilt western european. But funnily I learnt the most about appreciation/gratefulness from people who have the least.
“Accept your journey.” My brain flung out this call in a moment of clarity the other day. The advice was actually addressed to a friend who is suffering from a broken heart. I wanted to encourage him to move forward despite his desperation. Quickly I realized the wisdom behind that simple phrase.
Accepting the journey means accepting the challenges and not questioning them. “Why me?” is always the wrong question. Why you? Because it is your journey. It’s your life. Everybody has their own battles to fight. Some of them might look more brutal, some more relentless than others. But everybody’s obstacles are custom-tailored to their individual power.
Way too often we are taking our own lives and our challenges way to serious. But they are actually a part of us, our life, our purpose. Challenges are not there to punish, but to instruct us.
Massive jolts are rattling my old believe patterns these days. It seems like finally I’m harvesting the fruits of my self-discovery trip. At the same time I’m paying the price with confusion and more questions than ever. What I miss is the fact, that this is my journey. This is what I chose. These are the consequences. This is my way.
Insecurity is what I bought with freedom, dependence on other people is what I ordered with being a nomad. Too many options lead to confusion. Aloneness is what I chose. And my destiny? Is already right here.
This is my path and my destiny. The challenges that I’m facing are the bumpy road conditions. If the road gets narrow it is time to slow down and not to speed up. There is no need to rush. Life happens at its own speed.
Instead of enjoying the journey way too often I’m rushing towards an unknown destination. I’m rushing and rumbling around – chasing what? In the meantime I see the so called “life” rolling by out of the corner of my eye. What if I miss important waypoints? It is time to slow down and take the time to actually look at the map, listen to the intuition (as long as it takes) and just enjoy the view for a moment.
In the meantime? I’m fulfilling my purpose. People expressing me their gratitude. My friends are showing me their trust. Strangers are opening up to me for no reason. I can SEE that I’m making a difference. I published 56 posts on this blog, but I’m still think “I’m not writing anything.”
The path of least resistance is a well-trodden one. Walking your own way demands dedication. I chose my own path and I gonna stick with it at all costs. Do I have a choice? I don’t think so.
“If life gives you a mountain, put on your boots and hike it.”