The Problem With Separation Consciousness

The problem with separation consciousness is that we think ourselves into separation.

The problem with separation consciousness is that we think ourselves into separation.

The problem with separation consciousness is that we think ourselves into separation.

I could write this down a hundred of times, but you won’t get it. Why? Because you don’t understand union.

Do I really have to tell you what it is? I don’t think so. Apart from the fact that I literally can’t, there are all these great teachers who do a pretty good job at describing it. Eckart Tolle to only name one this time. (Hint: Check Buddhism, Taoism and the popular world religions and feel between the lines!)

I can give you a hint: You can’t think yourself into union!

The problem with the terms around separation consciousness is that we THINK ourselves into separation. Even writing this down here I emphasize it.

“Separate from what?,” you might ask.

Tonight I remembered my purpose. It is reminding you of consciousness. Consciousness in the sense of union with source. I completely forgot that most people don’t have the slightest idea what it is…

I thought to myself: Why does the suffering hurt so much? It is probably the first time that I truly admit that. It hurts so much, because I tried to figure it out. All of the past years. Until I got lost in abstraction.

I had to do it. I had to get to this point where the illusion can’t sustain itself anymore. Now I can feel that THIS is the real starting point…

Everything else was the way to the way. My mind helped me to get here.

This realization that I made it all up.
This realization that the illusion is real – and the joke about it is that I knew it all along. The ‘space’ was always there, but I didn’t dare to enter.

The projection of my thoughts is what created my reality.

But the matter of fact is that I can ALWAYS choose my level of consciousness. I just never wanted to accept that. By choosing I already imply that I choose with my mind (interestingly called ‘consciously’).

Isn’t it what the mind is here for? I can always choose to be present. I can choose to create. I can choose to have a glass of water. I can choose what I have for breakfast. I can choose to cling to my thoughts. I can choose to react. I can choose suffering. I can choose the idea that ‘something better is yet to come’.

Man, I am preaching this over and over again. I am so happy that I was forced and forced and forced to question my thoughts endlessly.

This is what writing does. It makes you question the fuck out of your thoughts, because you always reach dead ends.

This is the problem with mind. It always reaches dead ends, because everything that happens in mind is a thought, a projection.

Now:

You can’t think yourself into union.
We can’t think ourselves into union.
I can’t think myself into union.

Oh boy. This is so deep. It hurts. And why does it hurt so much?

Because I cling so much. My ego just loves it. I love my false reality so much. I love the illusion soooooo much. I have to cry and laugh at the same time, because it is so ridiculous.

We just can’t let go. We can’t imagine that there could be something more beautiful behind this curtain. Hahaha, if it would be a curtain. It is a sturdy wall! The wall was built up by our grand grand fathers and it is quite a task to demolish it.

But this is what we gonna do! We are going to demolishing this wall of our conditioning…….(Mmmmmh I love this word so much, I love it and I hate it….) And then there is space to create! It is time for some courageous creation.

Only now it dawns me that there is a ton of work to do for us. It will be hard, but it will be worth it.

I am beyond excited to create with you! <3

 

Permission Slip

I allow myself to tap into my power.
I allow myself to act out my personal gifts.
I allow myself to be present in every moment.
I allow myself to sense opportunities with my heart.
I allow myself to release.
I allow myself to take action.
I allow myself to pause and take action when it is needed.
I allow myself to feel my feelings and move on.
I allow myself to identify the blocks that are holding me back and to overcome them.
I allow myself to overcome every challenge that I am facing. I allow myself to expand.
I allow myself to hold space.
I give permission to the divine to guide me into the direction that my soul is calling me.
I give my soul permission to direct my physical body.

 

Play It Lightly

You are the one who judges yourself. You are the one who overcomplicates your life. You are the one who is projecting. You are the one who pulls the trigger. You are the one who is using other people as an excuse. You are the one who is using force. You are the one who is building up the walls. You are the one who has expectations. You are the one who ducks down.

Do you remember?

“Get the fuck out of your head,” this has been my message from the universe – not only on this mornings’ walk, but all the past two months…

The ‘lockdown’ forced me into my head. My body forced me to get out of my head.

To be fair – for me it was not really a big difference as I chose to retreat or ‘cocoon’ for the past five months. (I have learnt this term recently from my beloved youtube mentor “The Heart Alchemist” Christina Lopes.) Finally I had an excuse to stay at home.

It’s been rough. My thoughts became so heavy that I literally had to start running. I was in ‘fight and flight’ mode nearly every single day of the past two months.

Panic attacks and emotional flashbacks – from more than one lifetime – shook my bones. I ran and I cried. There were days when my tank of tears was empty. There was nothing to cry anymore.

So, I started walking and drumming and singing instead….

After travelling India for two months I had spent two months at my parents house. My nomad life forced me ‘home’ – how ironic, isn’t it?! And this was probably the hardest journey of my life. I had to look at my old wounds. I had to look at it all. The wounds of my whole family…

Healing became essential. I was forced to train my thinking. I was forced to transform grief into gratitude, frustration into positivity, anger into love…

Now I know: I have to do it! I have to turn everything that doesn’t feel good into love.

I always thought this is a hard thing to do, but in reality I was only looking for excuses and for shortcuts. I didn’t understand that this is a skill that I already inherit.

My addictions had taught me a lot about ‘excuses’. It is the time now to become addicted to love.

Go and play your roles lightly again.
Go and be happy.
Move on.
This is just an illusion.
Don’t ask for permission to love.
Don’t be somehow, but be who you are.
Understand that you are a physical body that consists of biochemical processes. Take care of this body. The vessel of your soul.
As simple as that.

“This is not about the destination. If it was, what would you do when you get there?,” thank you Sarah Beth Yoga for making this morning an even more remarkable one…

This morning rattled me. Yesterday I was in a state of paralysis. I thought now it must be the time to go to the psychiatric clinic. My past two months were that way, but now the momentum is coming back.

The shift becomes so obvious, I can’t be scared anymore.

The astonishing fact: I asked for it.

I asked for every single lesson. There is always something to learn. Always. I don’t know what my life would be without these lessons? What would my life be without change? Would it be a life?

I’m not talking about physical change here… I’m talking about the change of perspective, the change of habits, the change of thinking. Because this happens when you learn. You rewire your entire brain… This is why I always travelled. It was never about seeing places. It was about learning.

Why not go for a walk in the middle of the night instead of lying in bed sleepless? Why not using your energy appropriately? Why not singing it out instead of being angry? Why not running it off?

This world is a playground and we are here to play. Of course we have to work fucking hard. Me too. Everybody does. But that’s what it is all about.

This is an incredible opportunity to learn. This is seriously the only thing that keeps me going. The moment when I understood this changed my life forever. The moment when I understood how much I love learning.

I don’t remember if there was a moment, but I know that there was always this force in my life. This force that told me that there is ‘something else’ to life. Something ‘more’.

Up to now I didn’t even know what I was talking about.

Now I know that this is all about awareness. This is all about being able to sense, to appreciate what is happening around you. This is the oldest practice of all times. The practice of being present.

When I went for a walk this morning I asked for guidance. Where should I go? I passed a field and I saw a spider hanging in the grains, hidden in a tiny cobweb. The spider was holding on to the grains with her acrobatic legs.

“So, this is your little home?,” I smiled at her.

All of sudden I realized that I am already there. I am able to see the small things. I feel a rush of love when I see the sun rising over the fields – the fresh morning breeze in my ear… Even writing it down here brings tears into my eyes. This is how moved I am by the beauty of nature – time and time again.

But there are the times when I forget about it. There are the times when I’m eaten alive by my fears and my self-doubt. Indecision paralyzes me in these moments – desperately waiting for a sign that never comes when I expect it…

On these days I get so anxious that I don’t want to see people at all if I don’t have to. On these days I forget that I am in control of my life. I am in control of my happiness. Nobody will make me happy. Nobody will make a decision for me. Nobody will be happy for me…..

But some people are a little bit more happy, when I am happy. So, why not just walk around and be happy?

How To Play A Role Lightly?

So, what does this have to do with playing roles? Everything! Because the roles are the masks that keep us trapped…

“How to play a role lightly?”

Ram Dass printed this question into my notes. I’ve been collecting notes on this question for quite a while.

Only today when I watched this spider it came crashing down on me how everything is related so smoothly: My negative thinking patterns are my roles.

Or actually it was the opposite: It felt like all the roles were taken from me?.

I had this sensation quite a lot in the past two years, but more and more I can cast it into words.

More and more I can look out for ‘patterns’ to drop – because this is a massive process. It’s truly like peeling an onion.

I was blaming myself for my massive ups and downs, for my heavy emotional flashbacks. Slowly it dawns me that every breakdown is another layer…

I’m learning my tools and they are so simple.

This is what fills my heart with gratefulness nowadays and it manifests my desire to get this knowledge out to everybody who needs it. I want to make the knowledge accessible. (“Hm, maybe sharing more on social media would be a step, right?”:)

So, what is a role? A role is not only the role you play in society (mother, employee,..) or a role you play in your head (author, artist,…:), it can also be a trait or a feeling. What do I mean by that? For a long time I didn’t realize how much pressure I put on myself by assuming that I am ‘depressed’ or I am not normal or ‘I am an over-improver’. These anti-mantras became my personality traits.

You become your thoughts. You become what you think about. It is worth it to consider this – every single day.

What do you identify yourself with? What is the first thing you are telling yourself in the morning? What definitions and standards are you holding on to? Are they yours? Are they helpful or not? Do you need them?

Now that I took the time to spend so so much time in my head the voices become clearer and clearer…

The judge became louder and louder – until I’ve started to scream back. More than that: I’m laughing at her. I’m laughing out loud when the huge, dark, negative thoughts come and cloud my view.

Of course I’m not ‘fully there’. I guess we are never fully there – and this is the beauty of it. It’s a neverending process.

Because if we were ‘there’ what would we do, right? What happens when we reach the destination?

It is better to enjoy the journey – and travel lightly. That means playing everything lightly.

…and because a list might comes handy, I have worked up my notes about “How To Play A Role Lightly” a little for you.

  1. Do not consider your job as your passion. Just do it with pleasure. Do everything with pleasure.
  2. Do what needs to be done. Do the best job you can, but don’t get lost in perfectionism. “Doing” is an outside experience, while being is an inside experience. What does that mean? You do things in the outside world, but inside you remain quiet.
  3. Stop being driven by deadlines and results. Just ‘do’ one step at a time and detach from the outcome. It takes the stress away. Otherwise you will get lost.
  4. Have rules, have boundaries, but don’t freak out when they are being crossed. It means nothing.
  5. You have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. Keep it easy.
    Know that you are capable of transforming every negative event into a positive one. Rewrite your story easily.

When you realize that what you do doesn’t define you and what you say is without meaning, then you are truly free.

 

Thoughts On Compromise

I used to be allergic to compromise until I understood that it is essential for our survival…

‘To compromise’ originates from the latin word compromittere – ‘to make a mutual promise’. The prefix ‘com’ means ‘with’ or ‘together’. Precisely the word ‘promittere’ signifies ‘to let go’, ‘to send forth’, ‘to assure beforehand’.

‘Let go – together’ – I like that one.

Okay, what is compromise really?

To compromise means to consider everybody’s needs.

As human beings we all have the same needs.

Unfortunately we live in a society with strong narcissistic traits. We deny our needs with powerful defense-mechanisms. These mechanisms became so strong that we lost the ability to feel what we need – as humanity and more and more as an individual.

As a collective we are taking on masks that cover up our trauma – the trauma that needs to be solved in order to proceed to higher levels of consciousness. And this is where we want to go if we want to align with nature.

With other words – we live in a society that denies life.

Overcoming this conditioning became the challenge of my life. I was raised to function – nothing more. How can I be okay with that?

“You are seeing this a bit too pessimistic,” a friend recently called upon ‘my lack of optimism’.

Don’t get me wrong. I love life and I highly believe in life. That’s the reason why I am so passionate about transformation – because I believe in change for the better.

So, what does this all have to do with compromise?

The possibility of growth derives from exchange. This is a fact I become more and more certain about under current circumstances.

By not-compromising we are getting stuck in our own perspective of reality.

This is dangerous. Why?

What we call ‘our perspective’ are just thoughts.

No matter how certain we are about our own point of view – it is just our thoughts.

They are nothing – if you look at it sober-minded.

By clinging to our perspective, by always bringing up the ‘but’ (But this is me. But this is what I think. But you are not right.) we obstruct the pathway towards harmonious coexistence with righteousness.

And righteousness definitely belongs to a spectrum of lower frequencies which causes all the suffering in the world.

We are not allowing flow – the flow of life. If we are holding on to our arguments we are closing ourselves up to possibility.

We don’t ‘solve’ our collective misery by arguing.

We solve it only by establishing human values – mutual values around the whole globe.

We are ‘out of alignment’. Compromise is our means of transport to go back to human nature.

And how do we do it?

Lao Tzu says: “Knowing the other is intelligence, knowing yourself is wisdom.”

It starts with ourselves.

Crisis is a great opportunity to get to know ourselves better.

A real crisis is a turning point. It is about life or death. Am I willing to change for the better or do I prefer to stick to outworn habits?

Our relationships are an invitation to learn more about ourselves. And how do we relate to fellow human beings?

By being open about our needs.

If we are aware of it or not – our needs are the only certainty in our lives. Our basic needs are the same, so why not talk about it openly and find solutions that serve us all?

This crisis is our chance to find a mutual promise again.

 

Who am I?

Who am I without the stories that I’m telling myself?
Who am I if I give up searching?
Who am I if I’m not defending myself?
Who am I if I don’t create?
Who am I if I’m not brave?
Who am I if I just am?
Who am I if I’m not trying to impress?
Who am I if I don’t have a plan?
Who am I if I don’t know the answers to all these questions?
Who am I if I’m losing it?
Who am I if I’m not being pathetic?
Who am I if I look into the mirror with all honesty?
Who am I if I’m only me?

 

Magnitude 8.5

The awakening is like an earthquake at the bottom of the ocean and you are like a vessel on the surface.

The bigger the eruption the greater the impact.

You really learn to sail on these rocky waters.

Don’t stop breathing.

Keep quiet and steer.

Trust your inner compass.

You know the tools. Be ready to apply them.

 

Amplify Love

I breathe in deeply.

All negativity evaporates with my outbreath.

A warm energy flow climbs from chakra to chakra.

Every chakra – from root to crown – unites into one circle.

A warm golden wave lights up my whole body.

Love runs through my veins.

Every tiny bit of tension eases.

A tingeling sensation circulates from head to toe – embracing my entire being.

Every cell expands.

Every cell becomes love.

Every cell erradicates the last bits of resistance.

All the energy I have ever received transforms into light.

I imagine everybody can feel it now.

The love erruption.

Be love. Now.

 

Restoration

Nature doesn’t want to destroy us. It wants us back.

This is the call to reunite – to reconnect.

We have to ground ourselves again. Re-grow roots. Re-store sanity. Re-integrate (into) natural order.

We are called to trust.

Trust in the natural cure that the elements provide us.

The appreciation of what is, what was and what will be is our remedy.

Let’s return home together.

It is up to us to create a new world order.

We need to learn to listen again what mother earth wants to tell us.

It’s the time to stand still in the eye of the storm and see what’s left.

A new set of values will evolve if we finally wake up.