Enjoy your crisis.
Be proud of it.
This is what your soul called upon.
This is not the time to give up. It is the time to build up your strength.
The crisis is not the challenge – it is the preparation.
Now, drop your convictions.
Drop the story that you had been telling yourself.
Keep up the work. In hard times it is even more crucial.
Transform your despair into love. It is possible. This is what you are here for.
You won’t die.
Your soul won’t die.
Chaos is expansion. Devote to it.
You can save your physical body only by s.
Feel it all. Yes. ALL. Don’t stop.
Appreciate it all.
Let go of it all.
Let go of the blame, the anger and the guilt.
Hold on to nothing.
Celebrate the unanswered questions.
In between the pieces there is a little gem called silence.
Allow silence and peace will overtake your stirred-up mind.
If you wait long enough bliss will come and invigorate you. I promise you.
Take a break.
And another one.
And another one if you need it.
Let everything die that wants to die.
As long as it takes…
Don’t let your rebellion become your resistance.
Have a little more patience than yesterday.
Drink lots of water. Cry out all the tears that need to be cried. Go into nature. Breathe in some fresh air. Get out the old one. Enjoy the green and the blue. Ground yourself. Meditate. Let gravity take hold of you. Hug a tree. Search for unity. Eat vegetables. Nourish yourself. Sleep whenever you can. And don’t sleep when you can’t. Stretch. Move slow. Have patience. Plant positive thoughts and let them grow. Trust in the laws of nature. Let the elements heal you.
I breathe in deeply.
All negativity evaporates with my outbreath.
A warm energy flow climbs from chakra to chakra.
Every chakra – from root to crown – unites into one circle.
A warm golden wave lights up my whole body.
Love runs through my veins.
Every tiny bit of tension eases.
A tingeling sensation circulates from head to toe – embracing my entire being.
Every cell expands.
Every cell becomes love.
Every cell erradicates the last bits of resistance.
All the energy I have ever received transforms into light.
I imagine everybody can feel it now.
The love erruption.
Be love. Now.
My ego wants something the whole time.
It wants to get better.
It wants to feel better.
It wants to be recognized.
It wants to defend itself.
It wants something different.
It wants me to be different.
It wants to hold on to something.
It wants company.
It wants distraction.
My intuition only wants peace.
I found a treasure in my heart and I will never let go of it again.
I’m taking my teachers serious. I treat my body as a temple.
I’m communicating clear.
All the lows are temporary.
What other people think, want or do is none of my business.
Nobody apart from myself knows what I need.
Nobody apart from myself has to understand me.
I’m not responsible for other people’s feelings nor am I responsible for their decisions.
My inner joy is my strongest force.
My playfulness is my power.
My love for life is stronger than anything else.
I don’t need to be perfect.
I don’t have to take advice.
I can just sit and smile.
With ease I welcome every situation and every encounter.
I’m pioneering my life according to my own rules.
Society is the last thing that can impose pressure on me.
As long as I feel joy I will guide my own way.
Nobody can take the life away from me apart from life itself.
I’m owning my experience of the world.
I’m owning my power.
I’m a child and I’m able to adjust to every situation.
I accept life as it is.
I’m finding comfort in the eye of the storm.
I’m not turning blunt.
I will feel even more.
It was one of those early summer days in the beginning of June. I went for an extensive walk to cherish the long afternoons.
The sky was clear and the sun still gentile over the hilltop of this tiny village in Tuscany that I called my home at this point in time.
I passed a field of barley. Effortlessly the ears were dancing in the wind. In awe I watched this spectacle.
The ears were not thinking about the direction they were moving. They seemed to be touched by the essence of life itself.
I noticed the trees swinging in conjunction with the grain. The sun was showing her last warm rays of the day. It seemed like the whole environment was in peaceful communion.
Watching this organic play soothed my turbulent mind. All of a sudden I was projected into the present moment.
And this is what observation does. It maneuvers us into the presence.
What happens when we observe?
It forces us into the now, because the object we look at can only be in the now.
Observation doesn’t allow yearning for the future or longing for the past.
Registration doesn’t allow judgement. We detach from opinions and assumptions. It holds us back from overinterpreting.
What happens if we look long enough?
We are able to create a gap between us and our reality.
Looking longer allows us to get a new perspective on something.
If we look deep into the things we discover something new. We discover the details. We discover the edges of something – or the softness.
We discover the things that are invisible. And eventually the blur clears. And this is how we reach a new layer of consciousness.
We get to see the world how it really is. By observation we see the real connection, the real relation of things – without unnecessary entanglements.
We are giving up the power of our mind. By giving up this power we start to not-control things anymore.
We finally get to relax. But first we need to sit still. Without stillness we will never be able to create this gap that allows us to be the observer.
The registration of ‘what is’ directs our actions in the right way.
By observing we find out that we don’t have to react all the time. It is a way of meditation.
We can go with the flow just like the cereal ears.
Inspired by Nyanaponika, buddhist monk for 57 years.
Like a monstrous burden anxiety suspends me from aliveness.
Sensory input turns into an impenetrable nebula. I can’t distinguish between me and the rest.
A painful transformation disrupts my being. My existence morphs into vacuum.
This time I don’t resist. I sit and breathe. There is only black. I stare into the nothingness.
Is this the beginning or the end?
A void is clearing my chest. The fated moment of surrender has arrived.
Something cracks with a bubbly sound. The next level is here. Subconsciousness ruptures into recognition. Presence reciprocates.
I thought I won’t make it. I thought opium would be the only tranquilizer for my perturbed brain.
But life has other plans. Effortlessly I’m peeling off the old layer. Experience updated its metaphysics.
Life had started again with a new sort of darkness.
It is nearly midnight. The chatterbox is rattling in my head. I’m revolving around my self-consciousness – far off from any real connection to my true self. An obscure nebula of uncertainty is surrounding me. Negative thoughts are traversing like thunderclouds. Anxiety is rolling over me like back-breaking waves. Sleep is beyond the bounds of possibility.
This is how I would describe my interior on a lonely night during my travels. I finished an intense video project at the cultural center of a friend at Camino de Santiago in Spain. I walked for a couple of days. I met incredible people. Inspiring conversations changed my view. A whole trip full of life-changing events came to an end (If I find the time I will write about it on uliquitous.com Update: I found the time to write about it.).
For the last days of this journey I booked an airbnb for myself – next to the spectacular shore of Peniche at the coast of Portugal. I decided to let all my amazing experience sink before I’m making my next move to Lisboa from where I would flew back to Germany. These previous weeks had been full of social interaction. All of a sudden I was alone in my head again – without any mission or entertainment. I felt a mix of contentment and gratitude, because of all the blissful events of the past six weeks, but that one night this feeling yield a cold emptiness.
When the emptiness became unbearable, I remembered something I already proclaimed multiple times: “I’m not my thoughts”. Something inside of me rejuvenated.
Controlled by an external force I lit a candle and sat down in front of it on the carpet. Automatically I settled into a lotus position and took one deep breath. Motionless I took one breath after another until I could feel the tension releasing.
Heavy boulders are tumbling down my body. Suddenly there is an imaginary force errecting my spine. An invisible connection is linking me between the ground and the sky. And there it was: This gap between me and my thoughts. For the very first time I could literally see my thoughts vanishing in front of me. The flame of the candle burnt them.
When the time was right I came back to reality. I felt refreshed and relieved. I was looking forward for a good nights sleep. All I could say was “Thank you.” I checked the time. 45 minutes had passed. I didn’t set any alarm.
This whole experience changed my perspective on meditation completely. In the past I thought there is something to “learn”, something to “do”. But it’s the opposite. During the past year my thoughts became a barrier for me, but during this night this barrier incurred a massive crack. And there it was: The drain for my thoughts! The off button for my chatterbox.
What do I do with it? Nothing. I will just sit and wait and I use every free minute to catch a glimpse of this crack in the wall.
“One day, suddenly, you will find a window opens, and a fresh breeze with new rays has filled your heart. Again, don’t commit the same mistake! Be thankful for what is happening, but don’t ask for more – more will be coming. Don’t ask, “Come again!” – your asking will become the barrier.”
Osho, “Learning to silence the mind – Wellness through meditation”
Every channel on receive. <3 life
Alrighty, the second week of my challenge is coming to an end. Honestly, sugarcoating is not my style and not the purpose of this blog. I just have to be honest with you – even if it hurts. Well, what had changed? Not much compared to last week. The meditation challenge faded into mediocrity, but at least I started to collect tomatos. But I won’t pull myself down into the pool of self-pity, instead I’m pointing out my learning – which are reasonably powerful. 😉
What had changed?
- I refined my individualized pomodoro method: Basically I started to use the traditional pomodore concept in order to tally every task of my day. Every day I collected between three and twelve tomatos. These 25 minute-slots helped me to stay focussed. The timebox proved to be one of my favourite tools of effectiveness since I heard the word “agile” for the very first time. 😉 But the good old pomodoro technique is even better: The concept includes my hobby “procrastination” – a five minute creative break is scheduled after every high-concentrated working-slot. Finally time management became fun for me. Sometimes I extended the slots and sometimes I shortened it a bit, but there was no excuse not to finish a slot without interruption.
- Again I screwed the meditation challege. This time I meditated only three times before I went to bed (if you include dancing as meditation than five times 😉 BUT: I made “meditation” my energy boost during the day! How? When I reached the afternoon low or a peak of my “priority-confusion” (Wwaahh, I don’t know where to start!! The panic monster is beckoning over…) I decided to get off my desk and go for a walk to the roof top terrace of the office building next door. I climbed the stairs and set the alarm for a ten-minute-open-air-meditation (The weather did it’s bit last week, because it was unusually warm and sunny).
- As I mentioned last week I wanted to set a weekly goal: My aim – finishing some backend tasks (e.g. photo editing, SEO measures) on my blog uliquitous I accomplished successfully.
At the end of the day I’m still a chaotic person and I have to admit that this kind of stuff requires a lot of discipline of me. But as I can see small steps into the right direction I will stay motivated. Tiny “bites” of focussed work let my to-do list shrink. The next week(s) I will definitely continue with the simple but yet powerful pomodoro method. And meditation? As a support I ordered another book of Osho, which will hopefully provide some guidance on my way towards the silent mind.