What if?

What if things go right?
What if everything does fall into place?
What if you do live up to your values?
What if you live happily ever after?
What if?
What if you discover joy and happiness within yourself?
What if there is a tomorrow that is slightly better than today?
What if you grow beyond what you thought is possible?
What if you free yourself from doubt?
What if?
What if you transform your fear into action?
What if nothing was lost anyways?
What if you liberate your decisions from the outcome?
What if you live your life to the fullest?

 

Who Are You Without Your Mistakes?

Who are you without your mistakes? This is a question I kept pondering for a while now – probably for years.

Are you you? Without mistakes?

Are you fulfilling your “dharma” – without mistakes?

“In ‘doing’, there are always mistakes.”

This is what Swami Rakesh, my philosophy teacher at the 200 hours yoga teacher training I have just finished told me in a private consultation.

This implies: If we are not making any mistakes, are we doing?

I repeat, because it is so fundamental: Who are you without your mistakes?

You might walk, but do you walk in your own shoes?
You might do, but do you do you?

Or are you avoiding the thing you want to do, because you are avoiding mistakes?

Another perspective:

Do you learn without mistakes?

Of course not!

Perfection is not the path. It can’t be…. Why? Because we are here to learn.

The path is paved with mistakes. Detours. Ups and downs.

This is how we see.

This is how we dis-cover the things that are being hidden from us.

How will you be able to see the whole picture if you only look at what you want to see?

How do you feel fully if you avoid feeling the whole spectrum?

How do you find comfort in this life if you only walk on the bright side?

This is not it!

I know you know it!

Darkness is an aspect of the light. Without dark, there is no light.

This is more fundamental to understand than I could ever imagine… And yet, I’m scratching the surface…..

 

Let it be Hard

“I want it to be easy!” – I’m punching my pillow.

“Let it be hard!” – An internal voice releases my vigor.

Recently I’ve made some tough decisions. And for a moment I fell for the panic, the doubt and the despair…

Until I remembered:

In order to live an exceptional life we get to make exceptional decisions. Decisions no one has ever made before, because no one has ever walked in our shoes…

Decisions that move our life path away from the “crowd”.

It is tough. It brings up fears of rejection, of loss or of poverty.

But you know what?

It’s part of the game!

This is what unleashes the wild self within!

This is what strengthens our resolve!

I want to encourage you:

DO the step you are so scared of but you kept pondering for years.

MOVE where destiny is calling you.

YOU know it. No one else.

No fortune teller can tell you what to do.

Only you are in charge.

And this is not a top-to-bottom advice of some sort.

I encourage myself too with a livin’ prayer. 😉

It’s easy to talk about it.

It is freakin’ hard to WALK it!!

The path no one has walked before.

Your path.

It’s easy to learn a lot of things but actually putting them into action: this is the hard part! Yes. It is hard and it is beautiful.

It’s, without a doubt, the most satisfying thing in the world.

 

Embodied Darkness

The winds of change are blowing strong these days…

It’s a good time to, finally, share another moment with you.

Slowly I’m swallowing my own medicine. I find wisdom in pain.

“Nobody’s wise who doesn’t know darkness.”

This quote by Hermann Hesse has been hanging on my wall for a couple of years now.

Only now, I understood its fundamental meaning:

I don’t overcome darkness.
I embody it.

This is basically what I have been practicing with this blog. And what I have been recovering over and over again:
Pain wants to tell me something. It is here for me and not against me.

I’m doing integration work.

I find wisdom in pain – and not despite the pain.

I integrate what is – and not what’s supposed to be.

This is called tantra in the widest sense.

I expand by integrating what is there.

What I integrate has been a part of me ever since – a part that I neglected for the longest time. A dark part.

A dark part of my psyche, of my physical body or of my emotional body that I would prefer to hide.

Instead of facing it I tend to set goals, aim higher, dig for more…

“The dark days will be over, if….,” for a very long time I fell for this hedonistic idea.

They are not. They never will be. Because there is always the next step, the next goal, the next thread that fills my heart and head with worry if I let it.

The dark days will never be over, because “the suffering is endless” to say it with the words of Viktor Frankl, author of the fundamental work “Man’s search for meaning”.

Frankl himself a Auschwitz-survivor describes the psychological states of KZ-inmates, which build the fundation for his psychological discipline called logotherapy.

This book translates the wisdom of suffering in a way that is so touching, so precise and so vital – I think every person in the world should read it.

What’s so special about it?

Psychologist and KZ-survivor Frankl transcends misery into hope and retrieves life energy, the life force – ‘the mystical’ that is all around and within us….

‘From mysery to mystery’ – Frankl uncovers the truth of life hidden in a disastrous part of history that we prefer not to think of.

The example of Frankl might be extreme, but the wisdom to be found in this book is applicable to all of our lives:

The earlier we accept that suffering is a part of our lives the more lightness we will find.

What most of us close our eyes from: Our pain is here to teach us something. (I wrote about pain so many times on this blog.)

There is an energy stored in suffering. And that energy wants to be transformed into acts of courage, hope and strong belief in life.

And that is roughly what Frankl describes as the motors of survival, even under devastating circumstances like enduring a concentration camp.

Nothing will ever be solved completely.
There is always some hidden grief. Some deep sadness or collective trauma that is stored in our cells, tissue or memory.

What we can do is: Meet ourselves and the ones around us with compassion.

This is how we befriend darkness and find purpose.

 

I Bow to You, Life!

I want to embrace every single moment.
Merge with the beauty of Now.
Return from the realm of phantasy.
Among all the ways I wish to find the way home.
Share my wisdom in silence.
Lay down my arms.
Demolish all resistance.
I want to find the way back with grace – in devotion to life.
Tap into beauty wherever I go.

I give and I take with all my being.
I open up to possibility here and now.
I am.
I arrive.
I offer my full heart to the moment.
I bow to you life.
I connect to source from the core of my being.
I launch the channel.
I receive with every cell of my body.

 

Your Desire is Your Destiny or “Doing is The New Thinking”

Follow your desire. Follow your destiny. These thoughts entered my mind a couple of days ago…

Your Desire is Your Destiny.

There is a thing about “knowing what I want” that I always underestimated.

Recently I had been studying the hermetic teachings deeply – if there is such thing as studying hermetic teachings.

I did not grasp the power of “mentalism” through the lecture itself, but by connecting the dots of my own life experience.

We can read as much as we want and still be reluctant to the fundamental truths that direct our life.

So: There is a thing about “knowing what I want” – a thing I would call magic:

The secret is not knowing what I want. The secret is acting upon it. Step by step by step….

What is action? In a few words: It is guided energy.

I can know everything, still my life won’t change.

I can understand all the rules of the universe and not change a thing in my life… if I don’t make a move.

Learning more about energy, I am understanding more and more that I am the one directing my life by directing the energy that I use with every single step that I take.

I can always ask myself: What makes me take that action? Do I really want this?!

It is shocking, but I ALWAYS have a choice.

This is nothing really new…

”Your thoughts create your reality”

I’ve been working with this universal truth for quite some time. Nevertheless only now I grasp the full scope of it.

I’ve experienced it first hand by manifesting things I wanted and things I clearly did not want in my life. In any case my actions directed the energy in a certain way that manifested this reality.

“The part of you that loves you the most creates the roadblocks that you are facing to make you build something out of it,” Gabor Maté placed this beautiful reminder on my path.

This quote helped me to forgive myself for all the supposedly detours that I took. Everything we do in our lives serves us in one way or another to fulfill a certain need. When we are traumatized we might hold on to any straw, but hell yeah, we survived!

The task is to figure out what these needs truely are and respond to them in a healthy or constructive way.

I am always directing my life. I am making decisions.

Healing is one decision away and so is success.

To quote Bob Proctor freely here: “…success is not about reaching a goal. It is continuous movement in the direction of a specific goal by making one decision after another…”

It is not about the milestones reached.

It is not about the number of fallbacks counted.

It is about the continuous flow of energy moved in a certain direction.

I am the one who chooses to accept, to learn, to surrender to what is….

I am the one who is transforming this life…. energy from one aggregate state to another.

I am transmuting emotional conditionings.
I am releasing trauma from my system.
I am transforming energy.

What I witness is that things manifest in no time. We are enabled to take action now.

This is the new new age stuff…

The days of thinking are over.

Doing is the new thinking.