There is a subtle realization triggering my mind. It is around accepting mistakes.
What happens if you catch yourself making or having made a mistake? Are you committed to camouflage it? Do you stick to an old story of ‘being a failure’? Or are you willing to learn? Are you open to receive the lesson that is being placed in your way?
This is so sensitive, so subtle.
There is a thing about admitting mistakes… They can drag you down. Or they can lift you up.
The thing about that, and that is a hypothesis, is: Our reactions to perceived failure are conditioned.
What’s the cure for that? It just dawns on me now. It is my own recipe for (self-)reinvention that I discovered during a deep personal crisis: Do it differently! Go the other way – wherever that is…
Well, to be accurate here: The first step is to become aware of the automatic pattern. To shine the light on the reaction to ‘mistaking’.
What’s the first thought when you understand that you made a mistake? Do you feel ashamed? Do you blame yourself? Is there even shock? Paralysis? There might be a trauma present.
Or are you owning it? Are you ready to move on and learn from it? If so, great, go on.
If you are struck by self-doubt and resentment. I got you covered:
In this case a question to ask could be: “When in my life did I first feel that ashamed/afraid/worried?” “What made me feel that way and is that thing present in my life right now?”
Another question could be: ”In which way does it serve me to feel or think that way? Does it serve me at all to feel or think that way?”
If you reach a point where you are able to ask these or similar questions: Congratulations! In my experience awareness is the first step to change. It is already “the change”. Actions will follow.
A full-on awareness of a “self-alienating” pattern will leave traces in your way of thinking. It will leave a strange taste. The knowing that “there must be a better way” – a way that is more aligned with who you are – sneaks into consciousness.
And this is the starting point of a new you (and me).
It is uncomfortable.
Resentment comes up. Sadness about the harshness of your inner judge. Grief about the energy that you have wasted. And that is totally fine. More than that: It is part of the process of befriending your mistakes and transforming your life.