Become Alive

Boooom – there it is: The here and now. The essence, synchronicity, timelessness – however you want to call or not call it. A sudden energy-flow captivates my body. Within a fraction of a second a harbouring warmth unfolds from my core. I breathe in and out. Something is bursting and broadening – all of a sudden I feel nothing but complete.

I ask myself, how could it NOT be there in the past as I’m obviously a part of it – a part of the omnipresent miracle of life. This staggering big soul revolving around itself within this universe. Nothing more and nothing less.

With eyes wide open I can actually see my surrounding. I can move within my full range of motion. I’m not alone. And I realize that the presence was right here all the time. E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E moment it was there. The “now” was just right here behind this heavy, dusty, filthy curtain of thoughts, doubts and hesitation.

Now the gloom of insanity is lifting. From a place of fear I’m lifting off into my own power. From absence I launch into presence. The doubts are still there but they are crystal clear. If they narrow my field of view I can just look through them. They don’t define my reality anymore.

Life sent me on this quest. Now it reveals its secrets.

Every step, every struggle, every pain had a purpose. At the beginning I had no idea what this is all about. At the very beginning I didn’t even know that this was about something. ‘The mountain without the peak’ seemed inapproachable.

Luckily life equipped me with tools:  My breath is my means of transport that conveys me to the present moment. With my feet I’m able to attempt the climb up the mountain without a peak – one step at a time. There is nothing else to do.

All of a sudden I realize: “I am at the right place at the right time”. – I always was. I am working hard for my dreams. I am actually fulfilling these dreams RIGHT NOW. And I have been fulfilling them since I took my first footstep outside of my comfortzone. I thought I need to choose. I thought I need to decide. “I just have to work harder.” For what? There is nothing to achieve, because it is already there.

Without the slightest idea I catapult myself far out there. Violently and relentlessly. I keep facing the challenges. I keep resisting the temptation of loosing it.

Going crazy is not an option. I roll. I fall. I’m moving on. That’s all. That’s what I’m here for.

I close my eyes. I let it happen. I surrender. There is no safety net, no false bottom. No, there is only the free fall, raw emotions – everything is out of my control. But the path towards the (no-)peak is here in front of me. How could I not see it?




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *