Don’t set rules, set intentions.
There is this voice inside of me that gives me commands every now and then (or if I am able to listen).
This morning I was able to listen.
I woke up happy. I woke up with a sense of excitement for the first time in a long time.
It was nearly 8 o’clock already. Way too late for the ‘ambitious’ Uli to start the day.
But my eyes were not burning. I felt a sense of gratitude. I was at ease – physically and mentally, with the world and with myself.
My window was open and I heard the rain dripping outside. The rain of an early January morning of the year 2022.
The past two days I was in a very dark mood. “The old” came creeping back up. “The new” was not yet to come. The fun fact is: the new does never come. Well, it does. But we can’t see it at first.
A friend of mine told me in a voice message yesterday: “You seem to be on your way. You seem to grow organically.”
And yes, maybe, only maybe, I am able to agree on this today.
So, what do I do?
In times of crisis. (And boy, I went through patches of crisis within the past over 24 months. Actually I found out that I was at my “lowest” in 2018. So it would be 48 months to be more precise. 😉 Ha!)
What do I do in these periods of crisis? Or the moments of anxiety?
I set intentions!
I did this so many times. During my lowest times I prayed every single day, every hour, sometimes I prayed every single minute of the day. I prayed for release. I prayed for a sign.
The thing with sings is: They never come when we (supposedly) need them the most. So, there is not really a point in asking for signs – every time we are in doubt.
What we do need to do is to take action.
What I learnt is that the voice of intuition is sometimes the faintest, the quietest in our blasting brain. What is blasting is: the self-doubt, the “shoulds”, the self-sabotage (an article on the topic of self-sabotage is in the pipeline).
We will always find hundreds of reasonable reasons to not do the step that we want to do, the step that is beneficial for our own growth.
What I got to learn throughout the past years of nomading and roaming around is: THERE IS NO WRONG STEP. There truly isn’t. I know it sounds pathetic. It is pathetic, but it is (for a change) a narrative that serves our personal development.
We can never predict the outcome. Who crosses our path is beyond our control. Who is going to help us is beyond our imagination. But guess what? THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT YOU. If? (Yeah, right. What are the ifs here?) If you change your thinking? Yes… What else? If you KEEP MOVING.
And it does not matter in which direction you go. Because there will be new intersections. New decisions along this path – over and over and over again.
There is no point in overthinking the next step.
What we can do is: We can set intentions. And this is what I did in the past couple of days when I was so down, so discouraged. I did not know how exactly to get out of my “old ways” of being and thinking. I still have no Idea. I have no idea how to “not be too hard on myself”.
Nevertheless, even if my mind said ‘shut the fuck up and squeeze your butt’, I wrote an intention into my notebook: “Prioritize yourself.”
This morning I prioritized myself by sleeping in and going for a long morning walk (Of course this is not always possible, but every now and then… why not?)
Words truly become seeds, if we let them….